“Attend to me, and hear me: I am restless in my complaint, and moan noisily, Because of the voice of the enemy. . . my heart is pained within me. . . So I say to you oh Lord. . .”oh that I had wings like a dove! I would fly away and be at rest” from Psalm 55:1-6
Doodle went on today.
Or maybe it was YESTERDAY.Or. .. .
Maybe it was a certain time last night,. . . ..
Last night when a cry for her to be “unknotted” went barreling out of Daddy’s house .Maybe it was when we were all gathered together, talking to Our Father, about bringing Doodle home healed. Maybe , it was the very moment, when we were all were seeing pictures with the eyes of our heart and, SUDDENLY, one brother cried out “I see you untie a knot in her belly Lord. Loose her Lord!” . Some say now , that Doodle went on shortly after that cry.
But I don’t know how all that “untying of the knot” looked . . . I don’t even know what the knot inside her looked like. I just know the cry for Doodle sounded like it would send the hand of heaven right into Doodle. Right smack dab in and over and under the belly of her soul. And right there on her bed, in her belly, the Word would make a healing happen
. No one talked much after these words entered the room last night. We all just left them .But, like a vapor in the room, each Word drifted out the door ahead of us .(1)
I went home thinking a lot that night.. . . . I was thinking bout the first time I held a “doodle bug ” in my hand. And, then, I was thinking bout when I last held my sister “Doodle Bug” and tucked her in her bed.
My mind went from memories of 50 years to memories of YESTERDAY. Like a shoestring ready for tying, I had in one hand, my thoughts bout real live doodle bugs of childhood and, on the other hand ,my thoughts were about my real live sister “Doodle”. If Doodle needed unknotting as the brother cried, I needed a tying together. I needed these two memories to knot before I tripped and fell.(2)
In the left hand I held , LONG AGO. I would think about “LONG AGO” when I held a “doodle bug” in my hand. I would think about how I had walked many miles of the beach with my grandfather. How, after our long walk, when granddaddy felt I had enough swimming and shells , he headed me back along a long wooden seawalk .
Long ago, Granddaddy and I walked past sand dunes of seaweed and sticker beds to his green sedan. Here I saw him, in my mind ,taking the white hat off his bald head and brushing the sand off his feet .Then, I could see, on this one day LONG AGO, how I wandered under the planks to see a little bug . A little bug walking in circles. .
“Lookie Granddaddy,this bug is going round and round”. I said as I ran in circles in the sand kicking up dirt ” That’s just a antlion ” he called back
” What do you call it Granddaddy.?” I shouted
“just call it a doodle bug. . . call it a doodle bug ” he repeated.
But , then, at the same time, on my right hand was yesterday. . . it was just Yesterday “Doodle bug”. I shouted into the ICU room. “What are you doing here?”
“I had to see you so you could pray for me” Doodle said softly.
Long ago Granddaddy said, on that day,”And you, my little doodle bug, come on now over here into the car” He said as he opened the car door.
“But Granddaddy catch him for me . . . I wanna take him home.” I called back to him. I wanted to take the little bug home to my collection of butterflies and snails and inch worms.”please please get him for me” I whinned as I kept running in circles.
“I will be most excited to pray” I said YESTERDAY . Doodle’s face lifted, it lifted her glasses over her eyebrows.
“And now I know you know how to pray Vanessa ” Doodle encouraged ” you know you don’t have to use a lot of words AND you know that Our Daddy hears us right away” she said remembering our last time of prayer.https://vunglaub.wordpress.com/2015/01/23/doodling-words/ We laughed . We could laugh because we were older . It had been a Long time since we last prayed.
But a real LONG TIME ago, Granddaddy walked over to the sand . Maybe smiling, maybe secretly delighting, he scooped both bug and grains in his hand.(3) He bent his knees and held his hand to let me see. “you hold it ” he said. Suddenly I saw the beetle who had relayed in the sand so furiously ,then roll into a tight ball and become perfectly still.
“What should we ask Daddy for together Doodle Bug?” I asked YESTERDAY “To Show you off for Jesus and you walk out of here tomorrow? ” I suggested.
“how about that I could just get some rest”. Doodle replied.
“anything else Doodle? come on . . .”I coaxed.” He’s sooo good lets ask for a lot. .”
“No , sister, that’s enough, we can ask for more tomorrow. Just some rest tonight.” she said as she took off her glasses and set them on the bedside table.
“well Doodle, I’m lifting you in prayer by the power of Jesus, into Daddy’s hand, where you can be as snug as a bug in a rug and get some rest” She laughed and let me pray. When enough was said, she entered her voice with a soft “now Amen”. Then, she closed her eyes and whispered “you get some rest with Daddy too.”
The next day I went to see Doodle. I went to see how her rest would restore. Restore her right out the door. I went to see how we might then go out ,on a spring day and chase butterflies with Rita Skeeter. I went with flowers and a card full of pictures of places I wanted to go with her. Places where we would have room to raise our hands out to Daddy. Places where we could stretch out before Jesus. And places where we could run wild with the Holy Ghost. Places for the well and the rested.
That was yesterday . But LONG AGO, I remember seeing the bug in my Granddaddy’s hand and being very afraid and sad. “What happened Granddaddy? Did he die?” I asked.
YESTERDAY , I was afraid and sad again. I looked and looked in many rooms but did not find Doodle. When I sat down exhausted, Rita said “I’m sorry but Doodle passed on last night” I wept. Jesus wept. The Holy Ghost grieved. “Daddy, Abba,Father “……we all cried.
I fell asleep weeping and remembering LONG AGO Granddaddy’s reply “The bug is “resting” . ” He is showing you what to do .” He lowered his hand back to the ground to roll the bug onto the sand . ” But this is not your home . . .this is this little doodle bug’s home and we are leaving him right here to rest “(3)
He grabbed my arm while talking about “resting” and “naps” and “don’t be so busy” and “you have way to much energy” Arguing and pulling against His arm I cried , ” But, ill never get to see lil doodle again. . .”
Looking back at the bug ,as it uncurled and scurried in the sand, I let my loose hand free and began to wave “Good bye Doodle Bug”
That was a LONG TIME ago before I knew Doodle Bug. That was when Our Father showed us pictures as children, like shadows , of what will soon come.(4) Now is the time when Doodle bug will never move backwards, or play with me again ,on this earth.
Yet, Now is the time Doodle bug will never long for rest . She is loosed in heaven entering a rest where all that we believe is seen. .(5) Doodle bug has put her glasses down . She sees everything brilliantly. She sees face to face Our Father and Our Savior. She is loosed to see what she longed to believe. The knot of sin and death is undone.!(6)
Long ago and Yesterday have met in Forever in my hands as I write and remember. And in the place of Forever, no more prayer is needed for my sister Doodle. She is resting in the AMEN.(7)
- Psalm 141:2 tells us that our prayers are “set before (the Lord) as incense” and Jeremiah 1:12 tells us “you have seen well, for I am watching over my word to perform it”
- Ecclesiastes 4:6, 12.” Better is a handful with quietness, than both the hands full with travail and vexation of spirit. . a threefold chord is not quickly broken. ” So it is , an agreement with the Holy Spirit, in the midst of a conflict of our souls ,will bring the unbroken strength of quietness and trust in God.
- Our earthly fathers are only a hint of the image , a shadow of the glory, of our Heavenly Father who watches over us every moment saying”The Lord thy God is in the midst of the thee, He is mighty and he will save and He REJOICES OVER THEE WITH JOY AND HE WILL REST IN HIS LOVE HE WILL JOY OVER THEEE WITH SINGING.
- Psalms 144:4 Man is like a breath; his days are like a passing shadow Colossians 2:17 These are a shadow of the things to come But the substance belongs to Christ.
- “Now this I say brethren, that flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God, nor does corruption inherit incorruption . . . Behold a mystery We shall not all SLEEP BUT WE Shall all be changed.” 1 Corinthians 15:51. “For now we see in a mirror dimly but then face to face Now we know in part but then we shall know just as we are truly known “1 Corinthians 13:12
- The sting of death is sin and the strength of sin is the law But thanks be to God who gives us the victory through out Lord Jesus Christ. I Corinthians 15:57
- “To go to heaven fully to enjoy God is infinitely better than the most pleasant accommodations here. fathers and mothers, husbands, wives, children, or the company of earthly friends , are but shadows. Bu the enjoyment of God is the substance. These are but scattered beams, but God is the sun. These are but streams, but God is the fountain. These are but drops, but God is the ocean. ” Jonathan Edwards