Dear Father ,
I still can’t see very well. And again today I hear a lot about you as they say you are” here with us. “. And they speak about what it means when you are “here with us.” They speak of what you do and what you say and where you move. But I cannot see you as clearly as they describe you. They say I must “position myself”. Perhaps I should climb higher.
Perhaps , if I rise higher , climb higher in knowledge about you , I will you see you . Why Father Ive no excuse but to do so … you have given me so much . So much you have given me , I could buy more teachers to teach me to see. yes…. I could climb higher and higher in my knowledge of you.
I thought all this today Father. I thought I might study you , rise high and look down to see you all the more. But it felt wrong to think it . I felt like the man who climbed the tree to see you.. But it is sensible because that is how you have made us to know what you created. You made us to get above or below or beneath a thing to see it more clearly.
Oh Father but thinking about you my dear Father , I KNOW you are all the more bigger and beautiful than anything in the world! . How can I get close to you when you ARE above AND below , the height and the depth, the width and the breadth! Oh Father , i am a rich spoiled and wretched child ! I want to give you back your world just to see you… could then I see you?
Oh Father it seems , now the moment I write this to you I cry ” late I have loved you ” because you invite yourself into me. I hear and can see you say “Make haste, child, come down (off your tree of knowledge and wealth) for today I must abide in your house” . I am brought low to love you by the gravity of your spirit.
I come down. Yes , I come down with a “Yes. ” This is my ” Amen” . For I know , oh Father , I know, when you come, when your Jesus comes to my house.. comes to this broken down old house , I will see you! I will see Jesus .And, if Jesus ,then you Father.
Luke 19 1-10 The story of Zacchaeus
“And when Jesus came to the place, he looked up, and saw him, and said unto him, Zacchæus, make haste, and come down; for to day I must abide at thy house.”
Luke 19:5 KJV
“In my deepest wound I saw your glory, and it dazzled me. ……”Late have I loved you, beauty so old and so new: late have I loved you. And see, you were within and I was in the external world and sought you there, and in my unlovely state I plunged into those lovely created things which you made. You were with me, and I was not with you. The lovely things kept me far from you, though if they did not have their existence in you, they had no existence at all. You called and cried out loud and shattered my deafness. You were radiant and resplendent, you put to flight my blindness. You were fragrant, and I drew in my breath and now pant after you. I tasted you, and I feel but hunger and thirst for you. You touched me, and I am set on fire to attain the peace which is yours.
St Augustine ( confessions)
“I and the Father are one.””
John 10:30 CPDV