closets

Come out of that closet child? lets go somewhere” I would coaxed my daughter out of her bedroom closet  on many afternoons. Tenderly,  I will always remember the face of her  reluctant obedience.  Wide eyed and startled, she would leave behind her beautiful world to go for a walk in a park. As we walked, she would slowly awaken out of her imaginary world. Her blue eyes would narrow in the presence of reality . But all that went on in the closet was just as real.  Slowly she would tell me of what she saw in the closet. Every conflict was resolved in her closet. And everything good was preserved.

I had  other children. I would say to them in a scolding tone, “its time to come out of the closet!” Their shamed faces, I remember ,were pale with reluctance  as they were leaving behind an addictive world. It was the only place they knew that they would not feel the pain of this  world. Without a word , their pained faces confessed they saw shackles in their freedom and yet knew only freedom in these shackles. Their closet was a  world where conflict is resolved with the anesthesia of  images or substances

Since creation , Everyday , children all over the world ,are coming in and out of  these closets. All of them escaping to make sense of chaos or kill the pain of its effects. We are all children in a garden . And we all have a parent pleading to us “come out of the closet’

Big grown kids nowadays are isolated in their houses. Some are surely hiding shackled in futility and shame . And yet many seem to speak how they  hunker down in another kind of closet. The biggest and bravest kids I know still talk about going to a place called their “prayer closet. ” These cloistered  closets may be as big as a bedroom or as small as a backpack. Even as flimsy as the hem of Suzanne Wesley’s apron who buried her head in prayer amid 11 children. It is a hiding place for the child of God to enter the beautiful world that has no pain and never dies.

I suppose it was not so different than the duplicitous closets the first children. Adam and Eve lived in. While in their innocent prayer closet, the garden something greater than the present was felt. Eternity unfolded in them as they walked with their Father. Here all was more than they could ask or imagine . But then , temptation birthed sin.In the closet of the garden , they reached for the forbidden.  And when the father said come out of the closet.  in their shame were hiding in the same closet with their imaginations were pained and their minds became paranoid  .

Since then, whole of mankind groans in closets. While some are in prayer closets, others are in addictive closets trying to kill the shame. Instead of hiding in garments of beauty and truth they are hiding in drink or food or images. And what can change these closests ? No paint or remodeling  but a full demolition . The closet must be built by desire. And desire can only come from the Builder of all things.

Interrupting the duplicity of man’s desires is a man called Jesus. He comes and builds a place for each child to enter. He comes as the “DESIRE of NATIONS” to establish a closet for every child of God. He has come lying himself down as the cornerstone of the closet.  He has come to build a secret place in the midst of dying garden. A sweet foretaste of eternal life where we will not run from closet to closet hiding. Rather taking our toys and taste of wrath, he gives a sweet cup of grace . In this cup To give us wide eyes of wonder at His Beauty and Majesty in this earth. And right when our eyes are wide eyed , The Father comes saying , ” child out of this closet into the world …. and tell tell of all you have seen. ”

The following blogs, in the category of “Church Doors” , will journal my hiding in the Catholic closet. I may lose friends, increase enemies . But, I can no longer hide in the closet . For my Father calls “lets go somewhere .

Notes:

‬‬“But you, when you pray, enter into your room, and having shut the door, pray to your Father in secret, and your Father, who sees in secret, will repay you.”

Matthew‬ ‭6:6‬ ‭CPDV‬‬

I thank my husband George Unglaub, Good Shepherd Church and Blessed Sacrament chapel for every day I have been In Our Father’s Closet.

 

Live Stream

They said that I could not come and see you

They said I could imagine you were here with me

They said I should  dress as if you were coming to see me

They said  I should put chair and cross and water out for you

So I did , I dressed , I lit a candle , and in a bowl I poured water

And Suddenly, before  I could kneel, before I could think on you , before  I invited you to  come

you came. … as a voice of light on all that I thought about you

You came with a legion of light in places hiding from you

you said that you came to see me

you said that you are more than I can imagine

you said I can sit with you

You said to see your love on the cross

You said to drink of your water

you said “you are lovely”

you wrapped and warmed and wooed me in your arms of light.

4Th Sunday in Lent

“Then Jesus spoke to them again, saying, “I am the light of the world. He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of life.””

‭‭John‬ ‭8:12‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

 

Wasted in the Wilderness

A TRIP before EASTER>  > > >LENT……….

And Jesus, FULL OF THE HOLY SPIRIT returned from th Jordan and was led by the SPIRIT in the wilderness Luke 4:1

He split rocks in the wilderness and gave them drink abundantly as from the deep.” Psalms‬ ‭78:15‬ ‭ESV‬‬

I think I will, I will drink

I think I will , I will waste time

I think I will begin Drinking a new wine

 

My friends who are not friends

Will thumbs down my use of time.

Their silent secret stalks

Of posts and pictures and prompts

Will shrivel from my sight .

As I leave on foot and flight

To drink …

 

I think ,I surely think I will drink

I will hide in many closets and stills

As I drink my wine in hidden hills

I will pack a picnic to go with my high

I will steal the finest bread and none will I buy

I think I will SEE when I drink

 

I will drink fresh while the wine is pressing

My intoxication with the Vine will be the hidden blessing

I think I think I will drink

 

To plan to drink , I ll pack for 40 days

And forsake this familiar fat land

Where people sit to graze and gaze

I think , i think I will finally be brave and go

To that wilderness way where we starve to grow .

 

I think I think it’s time to drink…

I think I will get hungry and yet be more than full

I think I will get thirsty and never thirst at all

I’ll live in gain in losing , losing all that is cursed

I’ll live like a drunken creature that I was created to be at first.