Retreat Day 4 Smell

A meditation from Day 4 as COVID nurse in quarantine

Smell ..

The rose from a friend sits by the bed. He called it the “rose of Sharon. ” But it is not , it is a long stemmed red rose with thorns. It is beautiful But I cannot smell it.

Is it a rose if it has no scent ? And Are we Gods flowers if we have no fragrance ? Is it only the bloom , the dress and the smile , that matter ?or does this Perfume of of my soul matter?

The rose is always catching me as I go by it. It invites me to sniff. But again and again i breathe deeply yet cannot smell it. I sit in my scrubs in the chair . I only know to dress in my scrubs . They are the soft worn scrubs I wear as my pajamas. Once crisp and smelling like new fabric. And I too was new , fresh wine in fresh wine skin.

Once when my scrubs were less worn there was a fragrance on me . A sweet Aroma of Christ permeated me. But the stench, Lord the stench of Death it is in my nostrils and I can smell nothing else.

But no , no , not even now oh Death where is your Stench ? It is not on me ! I can’t smell a thing ! Clinical, Numb of Scent.

I bend once again draw the stem of the rose ever so close to my nose. Then I draw all the air I can . I ask and imagine a great aroma. Yes ! I can imagine a smell , it is the sweet almost fruit like smell of a rose.

Does not God do the same with me .. does He not gracefully bend towards me and tenderly pull me to His nostrils … waiting waiting longingly , with Divine imagination inhale for a scent of His divine creation! Does He now longingly inhale for my fragrance to return? Hopefully longing.

““O Death, where is your sting? O Hades, where is your victory?” But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.” And He who bends to inhale breathes out !

It is in the Exhale of the Breath of God that I live and breathe and have my being . Breath of God recesitate me that I may be the aroma you long to inhale ! I need the breath of God !

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‭‭I Corinthians‬ ‭15:55, 57‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

““O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?” But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.”

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“For we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing,”

‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭2:15‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Wings of Discernment

Oh Ravens of Satan who come to steal bread !

You have taken  Host from my soul and my head!

You have made me believe it was a mirage or myth

You’ve made me doubt that Jesus promised  “if”

I look to the right .

I look to the left.

He calls me ,He draws me

He hurries to Hide me in the  cleft !

Oh raven of Satan I was told of your way

How in these consolations your dark wings come to sway!

How they brush accusations and fears in my face!

Till I do not “Behold” but bow down in disgrace.

I look down below

I look up above

He draws ,me He calls me ,He chose me …In Love!

He looks down below

He reigns in His Love!

Oh Raven of Satan , I am aware of your force

How your wings send all things into chaos’s course!

How the wind of your flight spins days to disorder,

Till we linger and languish with lost ones who loiter !

I look to within.

I look to without .

He draws me , He calls me , He chose me to dwell

By His Body His Blood I am unashamed to tell !

He seeks me ,He keeps me ,He feeds me This bread !

He holds me He tells me I’ve nothing to Dread !

He calls me His Beloved I call Him mine !

He tells me to call to you a due word in these times

“You Liar , You Liar “ Let this Word be the wind and the swell

That sends  dark wings of ravens back to their  perches in Hell !

Reference :

” Discerning Spirits” 14 Rules of Saint Ignatius

John Chapter 6

“I am the living bread that came down from heaven. IF Anyone eats of this bread, he will live forever. And the bread that I will give for the life of the world is my flesh.””

‭‭John‬ ‭6:51‬ ‭

Ephesians Chapter 6